


‘Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings

by Rillion



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Code Words, Conversation, Dead Dean, Dean’s death, Death, Family Drama, Gen, Led Zeppelin - Freeform, Other, Songfic, dead!Dean, phonecall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 21:06:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rillion/pseuds/Rillion
Summary: Sam gets a call from Dean after a hunt. It seems fine until Dean starts using their secret code words.





	‘Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Потому что, знаешь, у слов бывает по два смысла](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14894054) by [TModestova](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TModestova/pseuds/TModestova)



> You can choose at which point in the series the story is set.

“Yeah Sam, everything went just fine.”, Dean kept his tone as casual as possible.  
“Okay good. You coming back?”, Sam’s cluelessness told him that he did good.  
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll head back to town in a minute.” Dean’s voice sounded calm to everyone else except himself. Only the older Winchester heard the slight nuance that led to nervousness. If Sam and him had been talking face to face, his little brother probably would’ve heard it too, but that wasn’t the case at the moment.  
“Okay, good, be careful.”  
Before Sam could end the call, Dean suggested:  
“Hey, how ‘bout we watch the new episode of Hawaii _Five-0_ when we get back huh?”  
_I’ve been caught, get the hell out of here._  
Words throbbing of false cheerfulness, that could only be heard by those who knew Dean in and out, left the older’s mouth. Sam did know Dean.  
“Sorry Dean, I didn’t quite catch that. _Am I on speaker?_ You got bad signal?” Dean could literally see how his brother got tense on the other end of the line, could hear it in his voice as he asked the casual question to ask if he could be heard by other persons.  
“No, no none of that.”, Dean reassured him, trying to keep his voice steady.  
“Dean, what is wrong?”, Sam asked freely now.  
“Ah, that’s a good question Sammy! I’ve also been trying to figure out the plot of the episode from the previews and the title but I just don’t get it.”  
Trying to make room for what he was about to tell Sam in secret words only they understood, Dean kept his cheerful facade up.  
“Where are you?”  
“I know, it’s a really odd episode title.”  
“Who got you?”  
“I mean, does it even make sense to call an episode _Poughkeepsie?_ ”  
_Drop everything and run._  
“Where? Where are you? Can you run? Answer me!” Sam was loud now. Hearing the second code word had alarmed the younger. He just wanted Dean to somehow communicate him where he was. Dean, on the other hand, didn’t intend to do so. No, Sam couldn’t get here. He couldn’t tell him...  
“It’s like that one episode – How’s it called again? – _Funky Town_!”  
_There is a gun on my head._  
... But Dean was going to explain his situation as much as possible to his little brother. He owed him that.  
“You know, the one where we didn’t get what was up with the title until the end. The one with the pretty dramatic storyline that ended up with the _misunderstood_ guy _shot dead_ by his colleagues because he _messed_ some things _up_ they _didn’t understand_.” Slowly, from sentence to sentence, the older Winchester’s voice became continuously unsteady. Disguising his situation in a nice story of a TV show, like he did with stories about their dad when Sam was little, and asked what he was doing all the time John spent away from them. Only, with the tiny difference that John had been the hero of all stories, successfully resisting every danger he faced, coming out of a fight with glory. There wasn’t any glory waiting for Dean on the end of this story, though. No happy end.  
“Please just give me a sign of where you are Dean. Please.”, Sam begged on the other end of the line. He understood everything Dean was implying, but there was no chance he would just accept that. He won’t run, he won’t get out, not without trying everything there is to prevent, whatever is going on, from happening.  
“And the guys girlfriend had to accept the fact that he died and had to _move on_. By the way, I’m sure she did, even if it’s not shown in the episode, because she was the _stronger one_ of them both.” Dean paused and bit his lip before continuing, shutting Sam up, who was just about to scream into his ear again. “That was pretty damn emotional man, wasn’t it?“ A silent sad laugh escaped the older Winchester’s throat as he tried to hold himself together.  
“Whatever all this is implying, you’re not gonna finish that phone call until you told me where you are”, Sam demanded, knowing pretty well that Dean was describing their situation in his little made-up episode plot.  
“Let’s hope today’s episode isn’t as emotional as that one huh? Or else you’re gonna cry yourself to sleep again, you big whiny giant. _I won’t be there_ to comfort your sorry ass, I’m probably gonna hit a bar.”  
“No, you’re not. You don’t get to do that Dean!” Sam was helpless, the only physical thing he had as a connection to his brother at the moment was his phone, clutching it tightly. The only thing he could do at the moment was trying to convince Dean that, if he just knew his location, Sam could come and save him.  
“I’ll _leave the keys in the Impala_ in case I’m too drunk to drive so _you can instead_.” Biting his lower lip again to stop it from trembling, the older still tried to keep up his casual voice. Hearing Sam struggling with every word, every phrase he said, made it hard for him to control himself.  
“I swear to god, if you don’t stop this now and tell me where you are, I’m gonna-“  
“...kick my ass? Yeah, I figured as much. You don’t wanna play my driver. Slowpoke.” Deans hand traveled across his face, down to the hem of his shirt where it clenched into the flannel, his eyes cloudy of building tears. Though he hadn’t noticed it, the volume of his voice had turned down since the beginning of their call and came closer to the edge of being a whisper.  
“Give me numbers or some anagram, whatever! I’ll figure it out!” Sams desperation to get Dean to open his mouth about his location has taken shape in him, fidgeting around with a pencil and paper, writing every clue down he could find in Dean’s words. “Directions, street names, song lyrics, anything! You know I’ll figure it out!” The pencil impatiently hit the paper again and again, leaving little grey dots all over it. Sam just tried to keep his hand busy, to keep himself from running around.  
“Nah, _I can’t do that Sam_. You know I need my fair share of beer to celebrate a successful hunt.”, Dean replied, licking his lips, pressing his eyes shut.  
“You know what? I’ll probably head straight to the bar. I just lost my desire to watch TV, I’m pretty beat. So _don’t wait up_ with anything and tell me about the episode. I probably _won’t come home_ tonight.” The leaden words left his mouth in a slow manner. The older Winchester had trouble to speak fluently.  
Sam, on the other end of the line went silent for a moment when the words reached his ear, but quickly got himself together and chose to ignore the hints his brother gave him.  
“Are you near the location of the hunt?”, Sam tried this time,  
“ _I can’t deny that_. But I know how to hold my liquor in contrast to you, little brother.” That’s all the information Dean could give Sam about his location. By the time Sam got here and searched the area, everything would be already over.  
“Okay, stay where you are, I’ll come and get you.”  
“Now you wanna come and crash the bar with me? That’s unusual. You sure you wanna _take that risk_ because I think it’s _better for both of us if I go alone_.” That’s something Dean usually wouldn’t say, since he was convinced they were stronger together. He was surprised how little this sounded like himself. Sam noticed that too, Dean knew from the heavy breathing he heard. “I mean, I can’t use an annoying little brother and you’ll probably leave 5 minutes after we got there so what’s the point?”  
That also wasn’t something Dean Winchester would usually say.  
“What are you saying Dean?”, Sam asked, and the first time in a while, his voice was faint and silent. Dean felt his stomach turn at the change of sound in his little brothers words.  
“It means, _I’ll go alone. You stay_ in the motel and have fun while nerding around. Our natural habitat.” The forced joke that came out of his mouth, trying so hard to sound like himself, made Dean feel like a completely different person. In his ears, he sounded pathetic. Trying to keep his voice casual, but failing miserably at it, created this grey persona that was neither the happy facade Dean put up all the time, nor his vulnerable personality underneath that would surface on some occasions, mostly involving his little brother. But that grey mix of them both created something that Dean didn’t recognise.  
“No.”, Sam said, “You won’t go anywhere! You don’t get to go anywhere.”  
The younger was now hurriedly stuffing things in his duffel bag. He even thought about stealing a car to get to the area Dean was in faster. He knew, he ran out of time. Whatever was going on there, Dean had decided it couldn’t be stopped. Sam had heard it in his voice.  
“Don’t sulk now!” A gruff laugh came through the phone. “But seriously Sam, _I’ll go ahead_. If you want, _you can join in later_. But _I’d prefer if you don’t_ , actually. _Not too soon_ at least. You can be quite a bore.”, the older said, sad smile on his face and bottom lip trembling. He wasn’t even trying to put his facade back on anymore. The Winchester’s vulnerable side had won and tears clouded his vision.  
“Stop this right now!” Sam’s voice was loud again. Filled with frustration and anger.  
“I think I’ll get going now, _time’s running out_ and I want to get there before it gets too crowded.” A sad laugh escaped the older ones mouth.  
“Don’t you dare end this call Dean! Don’t you dare!”, Sam shouted vigorously, his right hand clenching the phone and the other one in his hair. Heavy breaths and teary eyes, panic and horror in Sam’s voice. This couldn’t be happening.  
“ _Goodbye Sammy_.”  
“DEAN!”

**Author's Note:**

> The title was chosen after a line of Led Zeppelins “Stairway to heaven”. I’ll leave it to your imagination what Deans exact situation is. I gave a few guidelines but but there is much air for your own ideas to put in.  
> I’m not completely sure what to think about that one since I was pretty proud of it when I first wrote it, but that was some time ago and now I don’t like it as much anymore. Maybe I’ll edit it some time when I got better in writing in English.  
> Anyway, I always wanted to see the boys using their code words more often so that’s how the idea was created. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
